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Soar With the Eagles – or Roost With the Chickens

Who Influences You?

When my clients start working with me to gain the objectives of improving their lives, one of my first questions is. “How many people have direct influence over your life, such as your spouse, children, friends, relatives, etc.? Asking this question lays down a specific directive for my client to assess.

It’s natural that you would care what your loved ones think. These are the same people that have been influencing you throughout your life. How do you think they will react when they realize that you are making significant changes in your life without consulting with them first? They may think you are leaving the fold. Others will make attempt to prevent you from escaping the box in which they have placed you, because they don’t want to change their expectations of you.

Your first steps along the path of self improvement will almost certainly be lonely ones. You will likely continue to walk this path alone. It is a very personal experience.

Have you ever wondered why? I don’t often refer to songs, but there is one song that should be your mantra when you set out on the path of self improvement. The song is, “I Walk Alone” by Green Day. The lyrics fit the circumstances perfectly.

Once you start to make real progress in moving along your path, you will naturally feel excited and eager to share your enthusiasm with others. But should you suggest to your partner that he or she should be making similar changes to the ones you have made?

You should be aware that just because you are making positive changes in your life, your partner may not share your desire. He or she may consider it an insult or wonder if you look down on him or her. Your partner may consider in an insult if you suggest that he or she should follow a similar course of action.

A Life and Death Example

I have been blessed with an accumulation of a tremendous amount of valuable information. Recently, I had the opportunity to help a friend that has a progressive cancer, but who has everything to live for. He has a worthwhile life – better than most people. Although he didn’t ask for it, I provided him with some specialized information that could provide potential options to allow him to live longer and healthier. I gave him this information without expectation that he would ever read it, or do anything about it, but it was there for him if he chose to.” It is unfortunate that he has not gotten around to using it.  It saddens me.

Moral Support Versus Standing Alone

If you get moral support from those around you, feel blessed. Most people must walk their path lonely, and without support. Once in a while you may meet someone that is on a similar path as you; a kindred spirit. This is the Law of Attraction at work. Often these are the best people to be co-supportive with. Look for these people to appear. It is nice to find a friend while traversing adversity.

You may think my choice of the word “adversity” may be a negative way of thinking about doing something positive for yourself. Please take a moment to think about why we are driven to improve ourselves to begin with. Our dissatisfaction in ourselves is the reason why we pursue to improve our life. If we were not dissatisfied, there would be no reason to do anything in that direction. There are two specific rules here:

“The need to change is greater than the burden to stay the same.”


“The only constant in life is CHANGE.”

Change is inevitable. Nonetheless, it is in our nature as human beings to resist change. True adversity comes from the internal battle of contradiction.

Benefit of Change

You benefit greatly from doing things of your own accord, without the coddling or support you may wish you had. When you take on the risk and potentials of both failure and success, it gives you a great sense of self-worth and feeling of accomplishment when you succeed.  This is because when you take on the risk for yourself, you will put more effort into achieving success, which improves your odds of success. You are now confident to move forward and take more steps along your path. On the other hand, if you are hand-fed and coddled through the experience, you will not have the opportunity to gain that sense of accomplishment; your reward for facing the struggle.


I strongly recommend that you make yourself aware of the pitfalls ahead and proceed with your eyes open, so that you are not be deterred from your path when you face hardship and adversity. There will be times that you question whether you have made a mistake by wanting to improve yourself. Recognize this doubt as your old resistance coming to the forefront. Your biggest battles will be waged within. However, once you overcome the doubts and resistance of your old self, nothing can stand in your way to ultimate success.

The road of self-improvement is a rocky one. Prepare yourself accordingly. Good Luck!

Shannon Panzo

Great Things Happen Here!

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